Purpose
Friendship Circle was developed by psychologist, Francis Gaebler, Ph.D., about eight years ago and introduced by him at the Walden School at the same time. The Friendship Circle training is a natural follow up to the Feelings Circle training for the Years one and two students. The course is described as: “discovering empathy, teamwork, how to solve conflicts peacefully, and finding the good in everyone, even when we are angry and want to win.” That curriculum teaches students in Years three and four how to peacefully resolve conflicts that occur in their lives.
The eight sessions of the Friendship Circle training are:
- getting to know you, introduction to conflict resolution, and self-evaluation of class goals;
- working together as a group and creating groups for conflict resolution through negotiation;
- empathy discovered and I messages and negotiation;
- peaceful conflict resolution (practice);
- working together as a team (blind walk) and self-evaluation of goals;
- working together as a team (alligator walk in the swamp);
- working together as a team (crossing the Andes); and
- peaceful conflict resolution (role play) and self-evaluation of class goals.
During Gaebler’s work at Walden School, he experienced this interchange with a mother of a student.
Angela’s mother came up to her Friendship Leader on the morning of the Seventh Session and reported that the evening before, she and her husband were having a disagreement over a budgetary matter. After about fifteen minutes of arguing back and forth with the volume of their voices rising, Angela, who is in the fourth grade, came into the kitchen and quietly asked if they “needed a mediator”. Angela immediately went into the instructions mediators give to those in conflict.
Angela’s parents, who had been reading the Newsletters and Homework assignments, knew what Angela was attempting to do. Because they were caught off guard by her self assured manner and her skills, they quickly fell under her charm and went along with her efforts. They came to a successful resolution to the budgetary problem they were previously discussing.
Over the past eight years, several parents have come forth with similar stories occurring in their homes. Reinforcing these skills outside the school is a great advantage of the Circles Training Program.
Session Explanation
- Getting to Know You: This session focuses on students getting to know a little about each other through an art project. We also begin to set the foundation for how people in groups listen while others speak and take turns talking by using the talking stick.
- Working Together as a Group/Select a Name for Your Group: Here we begin the first in a series of five activities where students learn to work together in a cooperative fashion. Listening, taking turns, and constructive problem solving are emphasized.
- Empathy Discovered: Learning what it is like to stand in the shoes of another is the focus of this session. A vital part of cooperation and cooperative problem solving in sincerely understanding what another is feeling.
- Peaceful Conflict Resolution: The Five Basics of Negotiation will be emphasized. These will be the foundation for students practicing at home, school, and community in solving minor conflicts that arise between themselves and others.
- Working Together as a Group/Cooperation in a Blind Walk: Using only their words to communicate, students learn a valuable lesson in speaking with each other to solve a difficult problem. Cooperation, empathy, and listening are emphasized in this activity. In addition, understanding some barriers to those who are visually impaired is discovered in this session.
- Working Together as a Group/Alligator Walk: With the use of a “low ropes course activity”, the students finally will begin to work together as a “team” for the good of each member. Group decision making and win-win negotiation will be emphasized.
- Working Together as a Group/Crossing the Andes: A second lively “low ropes course” activity once again gives the students a chance to practice their listening, cooperation and group decision making skills. Empathy for others’ positions and fears is to be practiced.
- Peaceful Conflict Resolution: Successful conflict resolution using mediation will be presented by each group of students to the rest of their classmates. How all of the tools of listening, empathy, teamwork, cooperative problem solve peaceful conflict resolution can be used in your everyday lives. The role of a Mediator will be discussed and practiced.